There is not enough time
In the world
To wish i had loved you more
All the tears that have fallen
Were wasted before today
As i watched you last night
Slowly pass away
I love you Mom
As she lay on the cold slab coaxing her lungs to breathe through the pain the little ironies popped into her head.
From even just a few feet away a passerby wouldn’t even realize there were two bodies laying there.
Perhaps,she thought she only appeared like a rather large pile of forgotten donations.
The hustle and bustle of the regular Joe’s response to the first snow is about as funny as a lazy squirrel realizing the same thing,,me me me.
The squirrel thing made her chuckle raising more tears to chase the others down her soon to be numb face.
She was grateful the snow hadn’t picked up quite yet,although her eye lashes were beginning to have their fill. Even the pain of blinking seemed to raise her worry level.
She knew to bundle up tonight before she went out. It wasn’t too bad and she knew the brisk walk and fresh air would be just the thing for them.
Of course it would have been easier to drive the short distance to the store but she knew her little one was applauding her for taking the Greener,healthier choice. After all we all must do our part. Not to mention setting a good example for those who follow.
Smiling at her choice as she rounded the corner and finding what must have been the only patch of ice on the block.
Instinctively turning as she fell so as not to land on her swollen belly. Yet twisting her ankle and punishing her shoulder as she landed in the process.
Another chuckle for another irony. Now envisioning a turtle on it’s back,as the enormity of her 8 month roommate and soon to be joy of joys prevented her from righting herself too. More tears to join the marathon she thought.
As long as they weren’t freezing. She figured for a good sign. But now her tush was as numb as her ties had become several minutes before. Funny,they weren’t warmer too with the extra “padding” she’d put on through the months. A scream flew out of her as it snuck around her laughter at the shape she now sported with pride. The laughter albeit painful made her feel good all over,another fine example for the little nipper,smile even when it hurts.
The gentle kick reassured her all was well.
But now she needed to pee..
And as my eyes
Slowed to recognize
The blow landed again
Harder than the first
Who’d have thought it
With only one hand
If the right lay waiting
In it’s deadly curl
I could only hope
It was missing fingers
To soften it’s blow
While out one day in search of myself
I chanced upon a mirror
I passed a man who looked quite like me
To the clothes and the size
With the same colored eyes,
And awkwardly wearing my smile.
He gawked at me and I back him
Then he stuck out his hand in friendship,
Shocked at first and for short while
I marveled at his guile
Instead of a shake I began to quake and filled his palm with tears
Which were not met in kind
He tugged at his girth
As a true sign of mirth
When he used them to wash his behind
….. At times the things that seem so insurmountable are a but a moment in our lives.often our own worse enemy, forgetting the sun will rise and set another glorious day with or without our permission.
I love you love you all the time Rees kids.
Thanks for being my wonderful wife and for all the joy and meaning you add to our lives I love you Rosey!
I’d like to commend all of you who do not do the custody/divorce dance.
It’s a crappy tune,played on instruments that resemble certain body parts. Following upside down sheet music written in Braille..
Here’s hoping you’ve gotten a rough idea into the maelstrom of over indulgent courts to undeserving parents.
Now what this has to do with us having our first snow day ever together may seem a bit meandering.
So let’s not lose sight of the fact that tomorrow/today is our first snow day together ever,which is pretty excellent.
Too bad they’ve already had 2 snow days this week as well as another 6 since the end of winter break.
At 6&8 my kids can use as much academic reinforcement they can get.
Especially my boy(6), who is struggling a bit. I’m not as diligent as I ought to be but we try. Reading,writing,rhyming words… You’d think as some one who enjoys reading&writing I’d be a better teacher,but I get frustrated too. Am I confusing him trying to make learning easier? Do I push harder or am I pushing too hard? Is he lazy? Is it because he has issues beyond my control,ADD,Dyslexia? He does exhibit signs but that doesn’t mean he can’t learn. I know several people who are very successful who are dyslexic,it can be done. His teachers notice,but it’s not their soul responsibility,we all need to do our part.
May the last conference I had with his teacher his mom barged in and started ranting about the school not helping enough,he’s not getting enough attention.. Then she started throwing out a series of what her tone implied as capital letters to agencies and big wigs she was threatening to call do to their short comings. When their main topic of conversation when I pick them up is what they saw on TV.
When asked what letters, words he’s working on in school he gets evasive and confused reverting back to his Psych and other of his favorite shows he watches at Nana’s and Mom’s.
So it’s clear even in my unstructured study regiment,it’s more than some are doing. And we have the least amount of time together.
It may be easier to blame others for his learning or lack of but that doesn’t remove me from my obligations as a parent. He is a fine,articulate creative and loving boy. His road may be long, and not one he can run or skip down but he can still reach his destination with confidence and pride in the effort it takes to get there.
I know he can learn. Wishing others would be more proactive won’t make it so.
For instance,I wish he had learned to tie his shoes before his mom bought him a motorcycle that he wrecked the same day leaving him covered in bruises because he was not provided any of the standard safety gear sans helmet before his maiden voyage.
But wishing won’t change what happened. I wish his mom would have have read to him in the womb and all through infancy as she did our daughter who is excelling at school and loves to read as that may have changed his learning capacity but that was then and all my wishing won’t change that.
What may help to change things is the 45 minutes he& I spent today reading Hop on Pop and writing rhyming words and practicing letters on our very first snow day together ever. And all the other times we spend trying to figure this out together. As a team,as a family.
Now off to enjoy the rest of the day practicing our having fun techniques!!
I love you Rees kids,I’m proud to be your Dad. I believe in you!
I’ve begun to say that my kids could have fun in a paper sack.
Not that I’ve shoved them into one to find out mind you.
But the way they find joy and amusement is inspiring.
Yesterday was the first time we spent together since the end of winter break. Some what unseasonably warm although we love in North East Ohio which means the weather is as predictable as..
Well,just say we have strange weather patterns. No conspiracy implied..
But due to this fine and fair day we pulled the bikes out of storage,dusted off the tennis racquets and still managed to play a bit in the remaining snow.
Chit chatting and catching up on their daily news. Hearing them laugh,seeing them utilizing their strengths and weaknesses,encouraging each other and enjoying just being themselves. I may gripe about our situation but I truly am a blessed and grateful Dad!
The best part of the day was when they discovered our Christmas tree,as it had not quite found it’s way to its final destination.
Insisting we put back up so we could decorate it using any available items,rubber and bracelets,empty cups,etc.
The joy of Christmas and family not being lost in a calendar date is priceless.
These are the kids I have the pleasure to be the Father to.
And even in when I’m mired in the depths of all the bullshit,they amaze me with their resilience and love of life.
How lucky to be me.
I love you all the time my Wonderful Specials!
My buddy Roo calls it The Dangle.
I call it just plain crappy.
The Dangle is a loosely termed phenomena in which the primary custodial parent has the ability to with hold,cancel and otherwise revoke visitation. There is seldom if ever a reasonable time put in place for this to occur. In essence it could be a day or more but not relegated to within an hour or even minutes before informing the non custodial parent their visitation has been cancelled.
The reason could be as innocuous or as threatening as custodial parent may wish as it most often has little bearing in the courts eyes.
The Dangle can also work in the opposite however.
This occurs when the PCP(notice my choice of initials), let’s you know with little notice in order to see your kids you must stop,drop&roll or the deals off.creating a tumultuous rise of emotions ranging from joy to guilt to fear to elation. As any time with my kids is prescious.
Therefore,a sense of constant distrust and borderline paranoia is created. But hey,the plus side is,after w6 years of this one may actually reach a state of hyper preparedness as well as a phone-book thick file of dates,times,occurrences,excuses,lost vacations,visitations,the non existent make up time. That the courts seem to regard as petty of your part and of small consequence since,
A) you are non custodial parent
B) have a penis
And if there is ever mention of this phenomena, it is almost instantly carried away on the gentle and bashful “aw shucks” breeze of batted eyelashes.
Resembling more of a Long Con than a phenomena.