A random thought this morning as I dropped my wonderful specials off at school this morning clean,dressed,fed,happy& healthy. Throwing up one of the several “thank you God”s already in the wind thus far.
My bones creaking and aching from a previously misspent life. A thought occurred to me of how lucky I am,blessed perhaps,even charmed would fit nicely I think.
But no matter how you say it,God does for me what I can’t do for myself. I rely on a higher power for the bulk of my existence. I no longer consider this a weakness. Rather it’s a great comfort on so many levels of temporal and ethereal living. From getting through my work day to getting me through difficult thoughts,obsessing about things I have little or no control over.
I’m not touting any kind of monastic life,far from it. I’m a regular guy with regular(mostly) stuff that either make me smile or get stuck in my craw.
But I don’t feel the need to get through life alone. Poor Me me me,I I I can do it.. Not so. Proven not to be so..
So,anyway,the thought the that I’m sitting in a bit of a cat bird seat or rather the Hand of God,as I’m able to comprehend.
And since there’s a smile on my face in spite of my screaming assorted pains and worries I came to the conclusion I must be sitting cross-legged,”Indian-Style” as we used to be able to say when I was my kids’ age,but doubt that term’s PC now. So be it.
The words don’t matter,it’s positioning that’s crucial. It means;
A) I can barely touch my toes( no fat jokes please)without gasping,on a good day. Screaming on normal days.
B) because of this there’s no way I can kick out and jump off with any ease or fluidity.
Which means,
C) I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. Safe,loved,and willing to get to and through the next phase of my development.
Good days or bad I’m getting “there”.
Kicking and screaming if need be, but I’ve found my willingness is in direct proportion to my pain. So I should try to attend my life as it happens rather than wait for it to go sideways.
At least that was my big thought for this morning. Figured I share it before I saw something shiny.
Thanks God! Love you my wonderful special family!
MykidsDad 