The silent suffering

Trudging the unhappy road of destiny.
He shouldered his burdens silently,unaware of the ever penetrating eyes upon him. He’d taken to wearing larger clothes so as not to attract unwanted attention,which was kind of funny considering how often he would break out in song,with the occasional skip step jig that may or may not accompany his rarely lively tune. But as long as They didn’t know,he just kept up the motion of life,thinking how lucky he was things weren’t as bad as others had it.
That was his mantra,
I’m not that bad,things could always be worse,it’s just how it is,tomorrow will be different.
He’d chuckle to himself as he thought of making it a song. Then,skip step jig.
Man they were at it again today.
His clothes must be getting too small or something. His balance kept shifting almost causing him to fall at times. Visibly wrestling and tugging at his shirt. His ears burning from their incessant bickering. He just knew today was the day. The world would finally turn to stare. Pointing their fingers at him. Some laughing. Some shouting,then the stones would be thrown. Children racing wildly away,tears of horror streaming down their once rosy cheeks. The vision of his poor parents being tarred and feathered in shame.
His worst fear manifested. His game over,truth well out.
But the noise today was deafening. Not another step could he take. Shaking with fear pawing clumsily at his shirt. Heart attacking his rib cage as violently as the monkey on his back and the albatross around his neck had been fighting for years. Their strength growing,their constant need to be fed one with addiction the other with guilt and remorse until today.
Echoes of his mantra stinging his ears.
As his knees met the ground…
I am that bad,I don’t want live if it gets any worse,this is not how it needs to be. I can’t wait till tomorrow for a change….


4 thoughts on “The silent suffering

  1. Yes thanks I am just doing different stuff, life not improved for me yet but my son passed his foundation acting course, one proud mum ,take care

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