For my Father

These days it seems my father is on my mind more and more.
In my mind I remember loving him dearly as a child.
I perceived him as larger than life. His stories,his dreams,his hopes for me to one day also feel the joys of Fatherhood.
Guidance,enrichment,discipline,all leading up to what most would deem a failed youth. Poor choices,and trouble didn’t plague me,more so that I pursued them aggressively.
In all that time he never stopped loving me.
I still feel the pang of resentment when I came to realize that he was just a man.
How naive was I to hold to such high regard and then desert him in my perceived failings of him.
I’m so sorry Dad.
Today,life is different for both of us, yet also very similar in ways.
We’re both remarried to amazing women who not only teach us the gifts of love,but show us it’s true nature.
We both have extended families as our wives also had children.
Mostly though,we both believe in our children,as he wrote to me in a late night email. Again,I was taken back to the guidance and promise of hope in the future he instilled upon me.
That things often don’t turn out the way we wish but without belief,magic loses it’s luster.
There are no smoke and mirrors in life.
Choices make us who we are.
He feels a great loss in our relationship as the gravitational pull of the universe causes us to distance each other. As I now do.
He’s told me how he wishes he had been more like I am now.
The unfaltering commitment to being my kids Dad.
Attempting to face the challenges set forth by others.
… May I say now,Dad,the influence you bestowed upon is clearer now than it’s ever been.
Thank You.
The magic hasn’t lost it’s luster.
My Father suffered great risk to his health this summer to preside over our ceremony.Knowing full well the dangers of flying cross country to fulfill a promise he made to me.
To honor our home and our love,to meet his awaiting grandchildren with youthful exuberance.
To join us in our new beginnings,and our family.
To the small boy inside of me he’s regained that long ago hero status for his resolve and strength.
But if you ask him,I bet he’d just smile and say..
” Nothing to it,I’m Mykidsdad,that’s what we do.”
Love you Dad.