Directionally Challenged

10’s of thousands of dollars have been spent on the privilege to be my kids dad.
And just like paying for cable when the electricity goes out or when you’re out of town you pay.
I remember when both my kids were young,I actually went to visit them at their mom’s house(our former marital and premarital address). These visits could last as long as 4 hours or be as short as 30 minutes..
I chose to do this as at the time it was the only way I could see my kids.
I was under constant supervision from either their mom or a relative of hers.
As she was usually sleeping..
These visits would occur if acceptable to her on Wednesdays and Sundays, my days off.
On most occasions the kids would be “tired” and the only way they could nap according to her was to go for a drive.. I was not invited,nor invited to come back.. Again the lawyers had no response. Leaving me w/no direction to turn.
But I went back every time I was permitted to.
Even if it was only for 5 minutes I was there.
Even under constant surveillance.
Through the tears and the fear and the resentment I was there.
I’m my kids Dad.
Whether I know which way to turn or not
Regardless of how directionally challenged I may get emotionally,spiritually or professionally.
I will never stop being My Kids Dad!
I love you M&M